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Of course there was the occasional hot girl that would need help, but as I learned, when a person is having their worst day ever, the last thing on their mind is, ‘Hey, who’s the cute guy that pulled me of the fire?

’ It took several years of being a fireman before the dream began to fade.

I kept my search area to somewhere I could drive in less than 15 minutes because I didn’t want to waste gas on meeting someone that would likely be a ‘dead end’.

In retrospect, I guess my optimism was not all that high.

After several weeks of checking messages, making contacts and being disappointed, I started to check less and less frequently.

But then one day, I had a note from someone I had not seen before.

But I’m going to give you the one bit of advice that you had better take.” He just looked me dead in my eyes to let me know how serious he was. He continued, “Get you an outlet.” I didn’t understand and it must have shown on my face. The ones that are gone before you get there aren’t the ones you’ll see at night; it’s the ones that die in front of you that will haunt.

Elaborating, he said, “This job…it can slowly eat you alive. And it’s not as bad when it’s some ugly fat guy like me—it’s the kids that die that will make you want to rip your eyes out at night.” I began to understand what he was talking about and was pondering his advice.

I started going out to the clubs and bars, but that seemed like a dangerous road: I still had not found my outlet and I didn’t want alcohol to ‘find me’.

To me, it was the ultimate real life “superhero” job.

I wanted to be the one to receive the call for help and rush in to save the damsel in distress, caught in her worst nightmare.

Instead of going to my typical sites, I began looking for something new.

I realized that porn wasn’t what I really wanted; I wanted interaction with someone—someone real.

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